The definition of Motherhood: A choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness and well-being above your own.
It’s like a switch. It just flicks on after birth and gets stuck there.
The world changes.
You always swore you’d never be one of those mothers. That you’d never do that when you became a parent. But 80% of the time you do.
Everything in your life is instantly altered and it takes some adjustment…for all those involved.
One of these aspects is your relationships; with your partner, your other children, your parents, your friends, colleagues and yourself.
It begins with all your energy and time being focused on your newborn and sleep deprivation. Soon after you’re fighting the mum guilt of sending the kids to childcare and begging your boss for a part-time return to work role. Before you know it your run off your toes with your mum taxi service juggling school drop offs, sporting commitments and play dates. But it doesn’t end there, the sleep deprivation returns when they learn to drive or have a house party to attend and you find yourself up till all hours of the night again.
The dynamics of your life have changed and in turn have impacted on your relationships. It doesn’t matter how many times you promised you would do something, the reality is when the kids need you all else comes second. So it gets to a stage where you can’t remember the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation with your partner or a night out together when you haven’t spoken about the kids.
You haven’t seen your single or child free girlfriends since forever and the most interaction you’ve had is a Facebook like (on a photo of your kids).
Your colleagues are glad your back but your child’s life achievement stories are not as interesting to them as friday happy hour.
The reality is your children are now the centre of your universe, and so you have become one of “those mums.”
You will speak of them every chance you get, to whoever will listen.
You will run them to 10 different after school activities because it gives them joy.
Your social calendar will be filled with many parties. They’ll just be your child’s friends parties and you’ll be their chauffeur.
You will have good days and bad days. Days where you love the whole gig and others where you long for and miss the freedom and convenience of your child free life. And that is OKAY. It’s normal!!
It’s a part of the learning curve of life. Your relationships with all those around you will change and alter with life’s experiences.
But eventually you will end up where you need to be, doing what you should be doing, with whoever you’re meant to be with.
Sending you love,