“The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara
This quote resonates so deeply with me almost daily. Because lets face it. Parenting makes you lose your sh*t and then feel eternally guilty for it.
For me it’s the times I raise my voice. As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to swallow them back up again. I stare at the faces of the little people looking back up at me with such shock and confusion that I swear I can even see disappointment in their eyes. They’ll remember this moment forever. Gone are all the times I nurtured, cuddled, supported and loved them, instead they’ll be scarred by this very time I yelled at them because my patience was running thin.
In the big scheme of things, I know that this (probably) isn’t the case, however nothing eases that guilt I feel.
As a parent all I want is my children’s happiness. I want them to be strong, confident individuals who love themselves and don’t cave into the pressures of peers or society. What they think, they become. What they see, they imitate. Every little thing we do or they experience, shapes them in some way. As their mother I play a huge role in this.
Therefore changing the way we speak or appraoch our children makes a huge difference to the outcome.
1: Giving them our undivided attention and focus when they are speaking.
2: Taking time to listen to the story that’s taking 30min to tell even though you’ve already heard 100 times.
3: Responding when they call your name (a million times).
4: Using positive language when disciplining…
Will make a huge difference to a child’s self esteem.
How we talk to our children matters. It teaches them how to talk to others and what to expect in return.
We all know that there are times where you lose your patience and it all becomes too much, but this too is a learning curve for children. Handle it well and it shows them that people make mistakes, and that too is okay.
No-one is perfect, but we are all trying to be the best version of perfect for our children.
Sending you love,