I am a mother of two.
At one point I was a mother of two under two (now 2.5 and 1)
It was planned.
I know a boy and a girl is the “perfect combination” but I would like another child.
No I’m not crazy. I’m well aware of what I’m “getting myself into”
I use control crying.
I use dummies.
I don’t rock.
I don’t co-sleep.
I breast feed.
I formula feed.
I like routine.
Here’s a big one..
My kids sleep through the night.
From 2 months old. 12 hours. Straight through. 90% of the time.
The other 10% of the time I realise how much I take this for granted. The kids sleeping through the night is my “normal”, something that is the complete opposite for most.
I’m not telling you this to brag, make you feel bad or doubt your own abilities.
I’m not insinuating that I’m a better mother than you or that I have some sort of magic expertise. I’m just being honest.
Maybe I’m lucky. Maybe it’s something I do. I don’t know.
One of the first things people ask you when you have a baby is “How are you sleeping?” “Are you tired? Are they a good sleeper?”
As humans we are programmed to answer questions with what we think the other person wants to hear or what society has made us believe is the correct answer. It’s like when the cashier at the supermarket says “hi” and you respond with “good thanks.” You’re not really listening to what they’re saying, you’re just responding with what you think should be said. The same applies to motherhood. Your expected answer is “I’m so tired, the kids woke up 20 times last night…etc etc” But what if that’s not the case? Have you ever tried to tell another “tired” mother that your kids sleep for 12 hours straight most of the time? (I have and 90% of the time the response isn’t a celebratory one).
I am the stay at home mum, I am physically, mentally and emotionally pulled in all directions 24/7. So YES I still have days or weeks where I’m tired. We all do, because motherhood is a journey like no other. You never know what’s in store for you the next day. But whatever your situation may be, you should embrace it.
Whether you were up all night, slept 3 hours, got vomit in your mouth or watched your child take their first steps you should tell everyone who will listen. Because everyone’s “normal” is different. Most importantly everyone’s journey deserves to be celebrated.
This is mine.
Sending you love,