You know how the story goes….you start seeing someone; you’re asked ‘is he the one?’
You become engaged and you’re asked ‘when are you getting married?’
You get married and you’re asked ‘when are you planning to have children?’.
You have a child and you’re asked ‘when do you think you’ll have another?’.
If this is resonating with you then perhaps you know the exact person who is asking or has asked these questions at one time or another; you’re mum, your mother in law, your friends or a mother in your mother’s group.
The particular scenario I want to focus on is the you get married and you’re asked ‘when are you planning to have children?’…only that I married two and a half years ago and am still incredibly content working hard, spending quality time with my husband (when our work schedules align) and enjoying life…just him and I…and our gorgeous rag doll, Minx (she had to get a mention).
Whilst I love children and am aunt to 10 children (and another due any minute now), that ‘biological clock’ that everyone says begins to tick around my age and somehow ‘you just know’ hasn’t quite kicked in yet. Even my female GP is super relaxed about it, telling me that I have plenty of time to fall pregnant but just to try and do it before turning 40. I’m currently 33. I’m well informed of the changes that children bring to your life and while I understand it’s enormously rewarding, it is still a massive change that I’m not sure any new parent is completely prepared for.
I’m very lucky in the sense that both my family and my husband’s family have never put pressure on us to have children but I must admit that at times, I do feel a certain complacency setting in whereby I adore our life together so much, I think I could almost stay as is forever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t sleep in on weekends and don’t have an overly busy social life but I do like the simplicity, flexibility and calmness that comes with being a married couple without children, that is until I see a newborn and my heart melts…