Grandparents…how much is too much?
I’m writing this article with the knowledge that many will interpret it as being ungrateful. So let me begin by stating loud and clear that that is the LAST thing I am saying.
I am absolutely blessed that my children have a total of 8 grandparents alive. 4 grandparents and 4 great grandparents that they have the pleasure of knowing, seeing and interacting with on many occasions. The relationship they have with them is truly magical. To see the interaction and love they share, is an experience they will treasure and be grateful for for all their lives.
However as sweet as it is, it doesn’t come without some repercussions (for us, as the parents).
A grandparents house or embrace is a world where your children are spoilt beyond their wildest dreams. Basically “their sh*t don’t stink,” no matter what.
Nothing is off limits.
With the wave of their wand, grandparents make magic happen! Presents appear in handbags, sweets literally fall from the sky into kids mouths, manners are no longer necessary, and so invisible strings are tied around their little fingers, leading the grandparents whichever way they please.
And you know what, in moderation or every once in a while, that’s okay. But too often it becomes a problem.
When it gets to the point where your children no longer listen to YOU as the parent, or have a disregard for the rules you have worked hard to put in place, It’s not OKAY.
I am the parent, and when their actions undermine my authority it’s not OKAY. It wouldn’t be okay if someone else did it, so it’s not okay for grandparents either. As a grandparent I cut you a heap of slack. I let many instances slide because I know that it is a grandparents duty to spoil their grandchildren. It is part of their life’s purpose. I understand that and I agree. Occasionally it is.
However, when your children start searching peoples bags for presents, or their pockets for surprises, then throw body slamming tantrums when they end up empty handed, it becomes a problem. When they no longer listen to the word NO and instead talk back, insisting they would be able to do/eat that if their grandparent was here, it’s not on. When they race straight to you and entirely ignore every other person around it’s simply rude.
This is not the behaviour or morals I want to instill in my children.
Everyday I am trying to raise respectful, compassionate, empathetic, kind hearted, independent human beings. Not spoilt, righteous brats that believe the world owes them something. To do this I need you to work with me and not against me. I need you to understand that we are the parents. What we say comes above all else. Please respect our choices and parenting decisions. Don’t override or undermine us.
Everything in moderation is OKAY. Everything at once is not.
Sending you love,
MBS
xx
